‘Five things I’d love to tell my egg donor’ – One mum’s open letter


In 2012, Cork woman Niamh Mulhall-Smyth gave birth to her son Cillian with the help of an egg donor.

The treatment was part of a collaborative international programme with Ireland’s largest independent fertility specialists, Waterstone Clinic and renowned American clinic, Shady Grove Fertility.

Here, Niamh pens an open letter to her egg donor, sharing the joy that Cillian, now four, has brought to her life and that of her husband, Nat.

Dear donor,

1. Thank you a million, million, million times for giving him, and us, life. Thank you for the better life we have being his parents. Thank you for allowing for us to be Santa, have birthday parties, and be called ‘mom and dad’. Thank you for the opportunity to see life through the eyes of our child; the hugs, the love, the chaos, the crisis over a missing toy and the messy car… we love it all. Honestly, we couldn’t love and cherish him any more than we do. We are proud to be his parents.

2. We have told him the story of his conception. It is something that he can tell himself now. It goes like this ‘To make a beautiful little boy like me, you need a mommy bit and a daddy bit. But the mommy bit wasn’t working very well. So mom and dad went all the way to America where a very kind lady gave the mommy bit to mix with the daddy bit and made me! She was a very kind lady’.

3. He is happy, confident and healthy. He loves everything about life — his friends, school, swimming, music and Lego. He hates mushrooms! He is curious about the world and loves going places. He wants to be a farmer, Lego builder, teacher, pilot, priest (because he wants to be able to tell people when to sit down and stand up) and a dad when he grows up. 

4. He has your beautiful big eyes, nose and wide open smile. People comment on the beauty and truth in his eyes frequently. 

5. I hope the sun, moon and stars have aligned for you and your family and given you as much joy in your life as you have given to ours.

From your donor egg recipient.